Presidents’ Day Gets a Makeover

President Trump has signed an executive order changing the date of President’s day, a national holiday established to celebrate President Washington’s birthday (February 22, 1732) and observed the third Monday in February. Most states have declared the day a holiday, often including Abraham Lincoln (b. February 12, 1809) and our third president, Thomas Jefferson (b. April 13, 1743).

His unexpected decree moves the holiday to the second Monday of June, a date he said is more favorable for shopping and parades. “No more schlepping to dealerships in a blizzard to get those great Presidents’ Day car deals,” he said, noting the change is effective immediately. “So this year, we’ll celebrate twice, and we’ll have the biggest military parade the world has ever seen, all the way down Pennsylvania Avenue. And I’m hoping the Marine Band will play ‘Happy Birthday.’ Nice if Xi could show up.”

It’s been observed that the new date for the holiday happens to coincide with Trump’s own birthday, June 14th. When asked about that, Trump answered “Is that my birthday? Even greater. What better way to celebrate.”

Intriguingly, the announcement follows recent comments the President made at a Florida GOP fundraiser after China’s President Xi Jinping changed his nation’s constitution to remove presidential term limits.

After learning of Xi’s action, Trump departed from his script to remark “He’s now president for life. President for life. No, he’s great. And look, he was able to do that. I think it’s great. Maybe we’ll have to give that a shot some day.” Here he is, from an audio clip obtained by CNN, complete with wild applause:

Trump’s admiration for the Chinese strongman represents a turnaround from his dim view of China in the early days of his administration, not to mention his recently declared import tariffs on steel and aluminum, aimed in part at China. “Despite the tariffs, I see relations thawing,” said veteran China-watcher Aubrey Inch. He noted that Trump seemed to have invited President Xi to his big parade, pointing out that coincidentally, Xi’s birthday is right next to Trump’s, June 15. “That’s in Gemini, sign of twins. Must be in the stars.”

According to unnamed White House sources, Trump has requested a white paper on how Xi managed to become President for Life and assigned KellyAnn Conway to read for him. “Maybe we can skip the stupid 2020 election,” Trump was reported as saying. “Wouldn’t that be great?”


Author: admin

I'm an ex-this-and-that, including software developer, computer graphics researcher, geospatial analyst, market manager, and technical writer, who now writes full-time when not reading, running a household, foraging for edible mushrooms, pushing progressive politics, or volunteering fsomewhere. I live near Boston with my wife, daughter, two cats and two old cars.