The Daily (or whenever) Eruption


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Trump Declares National Emergency, Nationalizes Sanitation Trucks: Friday 2/15/19

As expected, President Trump declared there to be a national emergency along the southern border today. But nobody expected what came next: an executive order nationalizing all municipal sanitation trucks, which will be put under the command of the Army Corps of Engineers.

“We will fill all these these hundreds of thousands of beautiful garbage trucks with household trash, which costs the government nothing, transport it all to the Mexican border and compress it into building blocks. Americans throw away enough stuff every month to do the whole job,” Trump said.

He also announced that to deter climbing enthusiasts, the top tier of the wall will be constructed from compacted medical waste, some of it radioactive, adding “Solves a bunch of problems all at once, doesn’t it?”

 

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